Tuesday, June 24, 2008

George Carlin, Comic Genius

This week the world lost a great comedian, George Carlin. Many media outlets have celebrated his life and his comedy by printing jokes and replaying famous skits. Having come of age with Carlin, it has been a fun-filled trip down memory lane. The New York Times published a few different stories on Carlin and several photos (including this one).

Rather than wax poetic about Carlin, here are a few of his one-liners... enjoy...

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of it?

I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we have no idea where she is.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

Viva George Carlin!

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