The other day, as I was pondering the complexities of life and eating ice cream, I had a revelation: Ice cream is the perfect analogy for sexuality.
In street slang, people who are super straight, heterosexual, and -- shall we say --unimaginative in the sack are labeled "vanilla". If we use vanilla as a starting point for this analogy, what would be the opposite? Dark Chocolate Fudge, perhaps? What would a Dark Chocolate Fudge person do that a Vanilla person wouldn't think of? Oh, the possibilities!
Then I started to think: What am I? Certainly, I am somewhere in between Vanilla and Dark Chocolate Fudge.
After much thought, I concluded that I am Mocha Almond Fudge (which also happens to be my favorite flavor). I'm a little off-color and a little nuts. I have sinfully delicious, lusciously dark, random and unpredictable swirls that will kick up the endorphins. I'm stimulating enough to keep you alert and dark enough to give you a rush. Sexy, huh? Who needs Rocky Road (always the drama queen), when you can have the sophisticated and delightful Mocha Almond Fudge?
So, what ice cream flavor are you? I'd love to hear from you in the comment section. If you're shy, use the anonymous option, but then, of course, the rest of us are going to think you are really Vanilla. :-)